Today, well actually these past two weeks have been a few weeks that I'd like to forget. You know that kind of day or week when you just want to run in your bathroom, lock the door, sit in the tub and cry. I haven't done that yet, but I sure want to. Since I'm always on the go....my "crying place" is my van. It seems in every one's life when it rains, it pours. And if you ask anyone in this area...it sure ain't the rain that's pouring.
There's too much sickness to deal with, there's money issues to deal with, there's irate family members to deal with and kids just doing odd things. I must say my kids are pushing every button I have and I don't have many left to push. My daughter and I pick on each other all the time because she never stops talking and I never stop singing. When I'm doing stuff....I sing constantly. And she likes to come up to me and pretend like she's pushing a button on my arm. She calls it the "off button". I jokingly tell her I don't have an off button. Sometimes I wish life had an off button or atleast a "pause" button so you can collect your thoughts.
The past few weeks I've repeatedly (and regretfully) said "I hate this day". I even said it today and I text my husband and told him. All the while having tears running down my face. I've tried the psychological approach of "well others have it much worse, look at the people with cancer, those who just lost loved ones, etc" and that helps a little for a little bit. But selfish me....it all comes back to why I hate this day.
What happens every time I say that? Well, I get a little "nudge" or "feeling" from God. And God tells me "Hey, I made this day, I made everything, you should be happy in this day." Oh yes, He's right, Psalm 118:24 tells us "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it". What more could you want? I know, I know, I'm very selfish when I say that and I would hate to hear my kids say that. Because it is a beautiful day. It can be snow on the ground, thundering & lightning, hotter than a blue blaze or colder than Greenland...but its still a beautiful day and I should be happy in it. Whatever's going wrong in my life in any moment. I should still rejoice and praise God. Psalm 118:28 says "Thou art my God, and I will praise thee: thou art my God, I will exalt thee." We have to remember these trials we're going through will only make us stronger (as my Pastor says).
Sometimes I just want to leave and run away from the world. Praising God in hard times isn't the easiest thing to do. You'd rather sit and feel sorry for yourself. But He always, always, always deserves our praises. Everything we do is to glorify God, not ourselves. If we're sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves...then we're putting the glory God deserves, on us. And honestly, do we want to steal God's glory? I sure don't. So for today, I rest my case of how insane my life is right now. Today, I will praise God for all He's done in my life, my families lives and my friends lives. Tomorrow I will wake up refreshed, praising God in a way that He deserves. And I will be glad and rejoice in another day He has given me.
