Hope Seminar for Women Update

*Sorry this is kind of long, but please read it*

The Hope Seminar for Women was wonderful. Those who didn't or couldn't attend sure missed a blessing. Danielle is an incredible speaker and her testimony....had the whole room in tears. (Ladies, lol, go figure).

On a personal note, I had been sick with the stomach flu Thursday and Friday. I almost didn't go because I was pretty sick. But God kept pushing, so I took some medicine and made it through Friday and Saturday. Plus my husband really encouraged me to go (you'll read why in a little bit). I've been to ladies retreats/seminar's/conferences and they are all wonderful and they get right to the point. But even Danielle's testimony, although it were her own. Felt like she saw right into my heart and all the ladies there.

So back to why my husband was "encouraging" me to go. I have to laugh when I say that because my husband is a very easy going, tolerant person and he's calm about everything. Like Danielle's husband, my husband is steady at all times. I'd like for him to get excited at least once a week. LOL. But the past 2 weeks, I've been in my "selfish" mode. You know that mode, it's about ME, you're driving ME crazy, you're making ME mad, you're upsetting ME, you're wasting MY time. You get the point. And I felt like my kids and the rest of the family were intentionally getting on my nerves, intentionally ticking me off. But I got to the point...I just didn't care. I really felt like I was in a "rut". I felt like God had forgotten about "poor little me." And I wasn't trusting God enough to know that He is there, He never left and He still has me in the palm of His hands. It reminded me of that commercial where the man goes around with this huge red umbrella helping people and carrying them to where they need to go. Well that's what I envision God doing.

So I'm in the rut and you know... me, me, me and I realized that hey...maybe I am getting on every one's nerves, maybe I'M upsetting everyone...with my crappy attitude. (I know Mom...you don't like that word), but it's true. But I felt like I was going through so much at once. My Mom's sick (I've been worried about her), my Dad is always away traveling for mission trips, my kids have been sick for about 2 weeks, I'm always too busy and I think my "panic" button hit emergency mode and well, there's my reasons for my husbands "encouragement" to go. Don't get me wrong, I really wanted to go, but I was just sick. Even though for the past few weeks I turned into a maniac, he just was there. Bless his sweet heart.

I always felt like I was the only one feeling like I was in a rut, like I was the only one that felt guilty for not "enjoying" my wifely and mommy duties at all times. You know like on Leave It To Beaver when the Mom was always so happy, cheerful, dressed in a beautiful dress with pearls and the kids came home with homemade cookies and milk waiting for them. Oh, please. But I did feel like that. I felt guilty, I felt like a horrible wife and mom. I felt that God forgot me and I was going to be in a "selfish rut" forever.

It was because I wasn't trusting God enough, I was drifting far from Him. Although I do my Bible studies, I pray, I praise Him, etc. But I don't feel like my heart was in it. I finally learned that I'm a "normal" (well as normal as I can get) wife and mom. And if I don't spend time with God. I wont be closer to Him. As Danielle said "the more time you spend with God, the more you'll learn to trust Him." I always felt I trusted God. But when I felt He forgot about me, I learned that I need to be closer to God. He's our rock, He's steadfast, He's our anchor, He's our shield when life throws rocks at us, He's our shoulder when we cry, He's our strength when we're weak and He never ever leaves us. Like the song goes "Our God is an Awesome God". Praise the Lord. But Danielle taught me, I always have to have hope. I always have to have faith. Without faith, I cant be closer to God. Without hope, I cant know that life will go on and you will get through the storms as long as you have God as your shield and anchor.

I thank Danielle for a wonderful lesson and I feel refreshed, hopeful and I know God is there for me. Thank you for touching my heart and showing me that my feelings were normal, my reaction to situations are normal, my panic button that goes off often...is normal. I know each lady there had something on their hearts and I'm sure Danielle touched each heart differently. I have faith in God, I have hope in Him and I know He is always there for me. I pray that God really touches your heart tonight and I pray that each of you know, He is there for you.
Get out of the "rut" and get back in touch with God.