Milestone In Our Home

Well, we come close to having a milestone in our home. Our son will be 15 1/2 years old on December 14Th, 2008. That officially means he is able to get his learners license. So God willing on December 15Th, 2008 we will drive out to the DMV in Harrisonburg and take this big step. He's excited, I'm...well, I'm a Mom. LOL, what can I say? He's really been driving around our property, on the farm and other places since he was 10 years old. So he's actually a pretty good driver. And while I'm driving we go through various instructions, tips, etc. I'm confident he'll be a great driver. I'm just a worried Momma and this means my "baby" (who is almost 6 feet tall) is getting older.

When They Were Little

In my office on my desk, I have a picture of my son, my daughter and one of my nieces. The picture is so cute, they're all beside each other smiling. My son was about 8, my daughter was about 1 1/2 and my niece was just a couple months old.

Like many people they keep family photos around their house, on their desks, on their shelves. I have another purpose for putting this photo on my desk. My son is now 15, my daughter is now 8 and my niece will be 7 in a couple of weeks. They've grown so much, not just their height, but their personalities. They've each developed their own special personalities and have changed so much since that picture was taken. I keep it there to remind me that even when they all act outrageous for whatever reason, act out with bad behavior or fight with each other. They are and were once, innocent little kids that has the whole world ahead of them. They have so much to look forward to and grow into. I get so excited when I look at them because I cant wait to see what type of an adult they'll be, what type of career they'll choose, who their spouses will be, how many kids they'll have. Even now as they get older, their personalities still change so much.

It saddens me as they grow, because they will eventually grow up, move out and have families of their own. But I keep that picture close to see that they are just that....little personalities that are strong willed, bad tempered at times, big sweethearts that do little things to make you happy or cry tears of joy. All three of them will always be babies in my heart, but they will get their wings when they're ready to fly.

You Know You Have Kids When....

I love being a Mom. I've always wanted to be a Mom and one of my main goals in life was to have kids. I have a wonderful 15 year old son and a wonderful 8 year old daughter. My kids are my life and I pray that my husband & I do a great job raising them. Don't get the title wrong, I absolutely know I have kids. They're with me all the time and they're especially in my heart.

This week I've been noticing even more that I am absolutely truly blessed with kids. And anyone who knows me or is around me, knows how blessed I am.

So I found that my kids had written their names all over my Grand Caravan in the dust left from our long road...this isn't the first time and wont be the last. People at church seem to get a kick out of "reading" my van each week. They [the boys] usually have "Redneck Transportation" written on the back, with all their derby car numbers. Today, I found cooked oatmeal in my purse at the bank...imagine the look on the bank tellers face when I pulled my hand out of my purse with a glop of apple cinnamon oatmeal. Oh yummy, NOT! I was taking a shower the other day and my 6 year old niece and my daughter used almost 5 lbs of sugar to make a "surprise". We are well familiar with the emergency room that my son, his friends and my daughter have particular seats in the waiting area they always sit in. My son and his friends like demolition derby cars and lawn mower derbies. So if I leave them at the house by themselves for a short time, my rule list consist of....no guns, no shooting guns, no fires, no blowing up stuff and of course no girls. So far, so good. My daughter whose bedtime on school nights is 8:30 P.M. always decides at 10 P.M. that she wants to do her hair, play with Lincoln Logs or go outside to play with the cats. And let's not forget about the bicycle that's parked right along the drive way where Mom can back over it. Uggghhhh.

So, yes, I am very blessed. My kids are polite, Christians, attend and participate in church activities faithfully, they're good friends and I can't say they're "typical" kids, but they're my kids. And God blessed me when they arrived. Praise God for all things!!

I'm Glad I'm Not A Teenager Again

I'm so glad I'm not a teenager again. The things teenagers go through, I'm so happy I'm married with kids. I'm around teenagers all the time, I have a teenage son and I have a teenage niece. In one week they can go through tears, fights, anger, happiness, big mood swings and than start back over again. Whoohooo, I'm so glad I'm not a teenager again. Ummm, did I already say that?

As Youth Director at our church and than various other youth ministries I do at our church, I am constantly confronted with "teenage issues". I have learned that when teen guys get mad at each other, they usually fight it out and become best of friends again the next day. Now the teen ladies, that's a whole other issue. Usually tears and screaming are involved. And then they hold grudges for a long time.

Now I'm not saying I was any different when I was a teen, because I'm sure if you ask my parents....they'll have that same dazed look that I have on my face all the time now. And as much as I shake my head in confusion, I'm surprised I haven't knocked a few important brain cells loose up there. God bless my parents for tolerating us. And by God's Grace they "survived" our teen years.

My advice to parents; just keep smiling and look as though you actually understand what your teen is talking about. And just remember the teen years don't last forever. ((we hope and pray))

My advice to teens; please enjoy these years, they'll go by too fast. Than you'll join the "real world." Your parents may be confused during the entire duration of your teen years, but we still love you!!

Canning Tomatoes.....

My daughter and I did our tomato canning today. I love canning and it's special because I'm teaching my daughter something that will be passed down to her daughters and granddaugthers, etc. Just as my family did. And sometimes one of my nieces helps, but she didn't get to this time.

As we were going through the tomatoes, she threw a few out that looked horrible on the outside. So I picked one up, cut it open and showed her that the inside was perfect. So of course I found this to be a perfect lesson on how to treat others.

Not all people are absolutely beautiful and perfect looking. And even those perfect looking people have flaws. But some people will not have anything to do with "ugly" people. Those people might not be so flattering and beautiful on the outside, but if you get to know that person....their inside is absolutely beautiful. They might be the nicest person you'll ever meet in your life and you will miss out on a special friendship. Because you didn't look on the inside. Just as my daughter may have missed a great tomato because she didn't look on the inside.

Growing Too Fast

It struck me today, that my kids are growing too fast. My son turned 15 in June and my daughter will turn 8 on Monday. I don't feel old, because of their ages and how fast they're growing. I just feel panicked. Think about this, in December my son will get his learners license. Soon after that he'll have his driver's license.

My son has always hung around with his friends, but they are always here and still are. And I love having all the kids here because I know they're safe and what they're up to. But now they're starting to go to the mall, ball games and to lawn parties by themselves (without me). We're a very close family and I think that's why it's so hard on me. Now when my son asks if he can go somewhere with his friends, in my heart I want to say "no, stay home with me", but realistically I have to let him go and grow. We pray that our kids do good in life, grow healthy and strong, stay safe. And most important keep God in their lives even when they grow up, move out and have families of their own.

We let our kids grow, instruct them and nourish them....but we also give them their wings. Like my parents, especially my Mom. They were over protective but they gave us wings. They still keep us close to their hearts and under their wings.

My kids are everything to me. I pray they grow up to be good Godly young adults. But most of all, I pray God gives me the grace to help me, "let" them grow up. Hug your kids and tell them how much you love them. Before you know it....they'll be on their own!

Drive-in Movies

My son, cousin and their friends went to the Valley Mall free movie drive-in this evening. And it brought back cherished memories. My parents used to take us all the time. I used to love it. And then when my son was little, we used to take him back to West Virginia because as far as I know that was the only drive-in movies open close by. But I think that shut down a few years later. Not 100% positive about that.

We used to love taking him too. I love the little food stands that you walked over to, the smell of fresh popcorn and the night air. Everything was wonderful. I dont even think it mattered how good the movie was. It was just fun being there. Seeing your friends and family who were sure to be there too. I wish someone would open one here during the warm months. Tighter security of course. When I was little you just didn't worry about all that. My how times have changed. I'm not even that old, but things have changed dramatically.

Anyway, I hope they enjoy the movie and make more memories.

The Story Tellers

My Granddaddy Rhodes used to sit with us on his front porch and tell us all kinds of stories. Not stories you read out of a book. But stories about his life, his parents, grandparents, etc. When we were growing up, like most kids we wanted to go climb a tree or ride bikes, instead of sitting there listening to old stories...some about people we never met. But most of the time we did listen. I think he thought we weren't listening because under his breath he'd say things like "well, if you're not gonna listen or I guess you don't care to hear about your family." Truth is, I was listening, I just couldn't sit still long enough to listen...I still cant.

I love to hear stories about our family. Honestly about anyone's family. That's one reason why I became a Professional Genealogist. My son says it's because I'm nosey, but I guess it goes with the territory. I want to know everything about everyone, especially about your family. If you meet me, I'm gonna ask you about you and your family clear back as far as you know and where they're from. I want to hear your family story.

Think about this; it's important that at this moment you be the story teller. Just as you parents were, just as your grandparents were and so on. You're kids, nieces, nephews, etc. will act like they're not listening. And some might not be, but most will be listening in their own way. Most will go to school and tell their friends the story, they might even write a report about it. Once you have the stories in their heads, they don't forget them. They'll grow up and tell their kids and grand kids.

This is how your family legacy is kept alive. You don't have to come from a famous family and your family doesn't have to be rich. The stories that keep your family going, are exactly that....stories that kept your family together, that got your family through hard times, memories your family made during good times and bad. It's especially fun for a kid, when they hear about the family member they act like. I tell my niece (brother's little girl) and my kids about my brother growing up, and they hoot, holler and laugh. My son acts exactly like my brother, so he's especially curious with all the stories.

Keeping your stories alive, is keeping your family history alive. Once they are no longer told, your family history disappears. After a few generations...the gap is so wide and the stories no longer can be told.

Be the storyteller in your family.

Parental Forgiveness

So many times other kids hurt your own kids and it seems that the parents have a harder time
forgiving the other kid, than your own kid does. I know I do. I know if other kids hurt my kids, forgiveness and forgetting is a long way off. But how are we to teach our kids forgiveness, when our own hearts don't follow that rule at times? And can a parent truly ever forgive someone that hurt their kids? As a mother, I find it quite hard at times to do this. Like my Mom, I've always been super over protective of my kids. Even now, my brother, sister and I are all grown up and she's still the same way. I'm not complaining, just stating a fact. So because of our love and strength for our kids, it's hard.

I found that I do eventually forgive. I just don't trust that kid(s) enough to allow my kids with that person(s). Trust me, I've been tested during last school year. So I did learn...I do forgive, I just don't trust anymore.

So what if my kids hurt someone? And their parents react like I would. How do I deal with that? Well, I pray that those kids will forgive my kids eventually. But I have to remember that their parents will have the same "trust" issues as I do. So I try (key word being try) to remember that they need time too. And I try not to let my anger set in too deep. Eventually, it all works out in God's time.

As parents we need to remember to forgive those who hurt our precious gifts from God. But we also need to be patient with other parents. In our lifetimes, we will be hurt, we'll actually be hurt alot. And we will also hurt others, maybe a lot too.